Total Recall is one of the most purely entertaining goofball adrenaline rushes ever made. Combining Arnold Schwarzenegger’s one-liners and ass-kickery with Paul Verhoeven’s camp comedy sensibility, Rob Bottin’s stunning practical make up effects wizardry and all three collaborators’ deep love for ultra-violence made for sci-fi/action magic. While it may merely be dumb fun that barely scratches the surface of the mind-fuck potential of Philip K. Dick’s short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” that fun is in such ludicrously rich supply and dripping with entrails that Total Recall has to be named one of the finest films of the summer. What’s that? That’s the old Total Recall?
Oh, my mistake. I’d better take a look at the new one. Give me a second. Ok, I’m back. Forget everything I just said except for the word “dumb.” Total Recall 2.0: This Time With Colin Farrell is a pure-by-the-numbers blockbuster that manages to strip away even more of the potential of the original concept and makes the Arnie version look like a masterpiece in comparison. Sure, the effects are impressive, but what blockbuster has bad special effects anymore? Unless you’ve somehow managed to miss the original film until now, the only thing on your mind when you leave the theatre will be “what was the point of that?” The answer seems to be, “well, I guess it will make money.”
Comparing the Old and the New
When drawing comparisons between the original Total Recall and its reboot, it becomes apparent that the latter falls short in capturing the unique essence and inventiveness of the former. The original film was renowned for its fascinating mutants, dark humour, and engaging atmosphere that blended seamlessly with the story. Unfortunately, these defining characteristics are absent in the reboot.
In the new version, the setting has been entirely shifted to Earth, depicting a dystopian world that borrows heavily from other Philip K. Dick adaptations, such as Blade Runner and Minority Report. While these borrowed elements may be familiar to fans of the genre, they fail to make the same impact or delve into the same depth as the source material. The reboot’s Earth-based setting and derivative design choices ultimately detract from the film’s potential to stand out as a unique and memorable experience.
Moreover, the new Total Recall lacks the original’s charm and wit, which were instrumental in creating a memorable sci-fi adventure. By stripping away these elements, the reboot ends up as a mere imitation of the original, without the distinctive traits that made it a beloved classic. The result is a film that, while visually impressive, lacks the substance and heart that made the original, such a standout in the science fiction genre.
A Thin Plot and Lackluster Characters
Colin Farrell plays a poor worker who slaves away building robots in a factory, yet is somehow married to the always beautiful Kate Beckinsale (don’t ask). He gets so frustrated with his menial existence that he decides to try out a new service called Rekall that implants memories of adventures for a virtual holiday (you know, like that other Philip K. Dick movie Total Recall only…ugh, you get the point). Of course, when he plugs in for a spy adventure, it turns out that, uh-oh, Farrell actually was a spy whose memory was erased!
Suddenly his wife turns out to be an undercover agent who wants to kill him, and the poor guy is caught up in a battle between have-not rebels led by Bill Nighy and have-plenty totalitarian villains led by Bryan Cranston. Good thing Farrell finds his old rebel girlfriend Jessica Biel to help out with the firefights, and even better news is that she’s in shape because from this point on, the movie is a series of chase sequences. No need to waste time with all that intriguing “is it real, is it fantasy” Philip K. Dick material. We’ve got some tickets to sell here people!
Visually Impressive but Emotionally Hollow
Normally, I’d be thrilled to announce that the last hour or hour and a half of a blockbuster is all action. The trouble is that this time that action is orchestrated by director Len Wiseman who previously brought us the inexplicably successful Underworld movies and the only boring Die Hard movie (Live Free Or Die Hard). Wiseman knows his way around a slick action sequence and expensive effects (there’s a rooftop chase in the early going of Total Recall that is undeniably a friggin’ blast), he’s just never quite figured out how to properly string those sequences along into something resembling competent storytelling.
Total Recall essentially has two tones: droning dialogue laying out the plot and frenetic action paced like the original film on fastforward. The first few times the movie pulls a 0-to-100 sudden action shift, it’s a blast. After a while, it gets dull and excessive. Set pieces pile ontop of eachother that seem so similar, it’s hard to care. The effects and design work is the best $150 million or so can by, but lacks any sense of personality or reason. Wiseman pulls designs out of previous Dick adaptations and The Fifth Element shamelessly. After a while every expensive set, CGI landscape, and action scene looks the same and you’ll be praying for a mercifully quick conclusion. The movie is just under two hours long but feels like three. Boredom should never, ever enter into the equation of an action movie. But guess what?
The actors are all talented and stuck in such generic roles you’d never know it. Why Colin Farrell keeps getting cast in action movies is beyond me. When allowed to play eccentric character roles, he can be compelling. But just like Mark Wahlberg, ask him to be an action hero, and all personality disappears. Action stars like say Schwarzenegger excelled in this area because their natural personalities could dominate roles that were merely a collection of one-liners and machine gun rampages.
Actors like Farrell seem lost because there’s nothing resembling a human being on the page. Cranston and Nighy growl their way through brief, unmemorable roles and Biel also looks quite pretty while shooting people if that’s enough to make you buy a ticket. The actor who fares best in the whole mess is Kate Beckinsale, which I suppose is unsurprising given that she’s married to Wiseman and is essentially just playing her Underworld ice queen again.
If you haven’t worked it out by now, Total Recall really isn’t anything special. All the beats of the first movie are repeated (yes including that extra boob) and no attempt is made further to explore the reality/fantasy themes of the original since the dumb action version of this story has been told. Instead, Wiseman and co. just go through the motions one more time with the violence toned down to PG-13 and the practical effects replaced with CGI. I suppose the scale is bigger, but who cares?
We’ve seen CGI sci-fi landscapes way too many times before. When the best you can say about a movie is “Kate Beckinsale is Ok” or “it sure looks expensive,” you know the flick is in trouble or at least that it’s directed by Len Wiseman. I guess that’s the same thing at this point.
